Going A Different Direction

Two years ago, I was considering not putting up a Christmas tree.  I knew I'd have to take it down.  And I knew I'd be taking care of a newborn.  My sister reminded me that "You have to have a Christmas tree!"  And she promised to come over to help me take it down after Spencer was born.

I hung beautiful ornaments--some vintage finds from antique stores and others bright, shiny and clearance-purchased (which makes me love them even more).  All of them glass, hung with wire hooks or over-sized hand-tied grossgrain bows, reflecting light from the pre-lit tree we had finally purchased the year before.  I'd always had live trees growing up, and I love them and think they are the only truly beautiful and authentic option.  But, by the time I got to high school, I had become increasingly allergic to them, in all their sap and pine-needled splendor.  So, we had to go artificial.  It took me three years to force myself to do it.  That's how hard it was.  I bought, set-up and returned one the year before.  It was just really not real.  Amazingly, though, once the lights are low and the tree is lit, it's beautiful just because it's Christmas.  And that's what I will continue to tell myself.  =)

One year ago, I knew I'd have to be mentally ill to believe I could put up a Christmas tree.  So, think what you will; my one year old woke up Christmas morning in a house with no Christmas tree.  It was beautiful.  After all the Christmas hustle and bustle, I had very little to take down and pack away.  I'd hung some lights over our big picture window, and I'd put some ornaments in hurricane vases on high surfaces; but I'd spent the entire holiday season enjoying my family and saying very few "No No's."

This year, I knew I'd have to put up a tree.  I have memories of Christmas at my grandparents when I was Spencer's age; and I want Spencer to know that Christmas time truly is a celebration for our family.  We do things that are out of the ordinary and inconvenient because the baby Jesus was truly out of the ordinary and he lived and died to save us, which must have felt at the very least, inconvenient.

So, I bought new, inexpensive, less than beautiful ornaments, knowing that I'd still have to be mentally ill to believe I could put up a Christmas tree with glass ornaments on it.  I bought wood and felt ones from Michael's dollar section this summer and stuffed them away at the top of my closet.  I bought candy canes at Dollar Tree, and planned on a giant pom pom trim garland (which I still haven't gotten around to buying).  No ornament is hung with a metal hook, and I've never found an angel for the top of the tree that I think is non-ugly, so I've rigged a poorly-made bow.  However, Spencer came in when I was almost finished and stopped running.  He approached the tree slowly, almost reverently.  He smiled at me as I told him, "That's the Christmas tree."  He lifted up his hand but didn't touch as I explained that we have to be very gentle with our Christmas tree, because it's special.  He stared for a few more seconds and then scampered out of the room.

I think it's going to be a great Christmas.

P.S.  I ran out of ribbon.  I know it's a little sad-looking.  I'm working on it.