Weekend Comments from Strangers (Regarding My Pregnant Physique)

Customer Service Lady at Kroger who insisted on "helping" me do the self-checkout lane, acting as if those lanes are in any way helpful or suitable for a pregnant mother of a toddler:    When are you due?

Me:  End of September

Kroger Lady:  There's no way you'll make it that long....

Me:  (In my mind)--thanks for your expert opinion--how 'bout you put a little hop in your step and help me get out of your 100 degree grocery store quickly...

Later the same day, I went in to grab more Tums at Walgreens....

Walgreens checkout lady whose tone was very kind:  How are you today?

Me:  I'm doing okay (with a smile).

Walgreens lady:  You don't look ok.

Me:  Another smile

Walgreens lady:  You look miserable....

Me:  I am.  (I don't know why, but I smile again).

And finally, the YOUNG checkout lady at Hancocks who both greets you and checks you out 

Hancocks lady (as I'm walking in the door):  You're such a cute pregnant lady (loudly)!

Me:  Well, thanks.  That's very sweet of you to say.

Hancocks girl:  (As I'm turning around to walk down the aisles, toddler-free in a store and reveling in it) I mean, from the back you don't even look pregnant.  You don't have any fat rolls or anything.  (She turns to the lady who walked into the store after I did)  Isn't she cute?  She doesn't even look pregnant from the back....

Me:  (You can be sure I've turned back around to face the girl seemingly obsessed with how I look from the back.  I glance at the random lady who has been pulled into this awkward conversation):  Care to take a look?  (I'm smirking more than smiling by this point)

I finally manage to walk off only to encounter her again when I check out.

Hancocks girl:  When are you due?  Can I touch your belly?  I just love pregnant bellies.  Where's her head, I can't tell what I'm feeling.....

Me:  Oh, um, sure.  That stuff smeared on my shirt is my toddler's snot.  He has a cold--fair warning.  I think she's actually down here...

Hancocks girl:   Oh, I'm doing my nursing school clinicals.  A cold is no big deal to me.  Oh, yeah, there she is...ahhh.

Me:  (To myself):  Wow.

If I were following the writing rules, I'd have to stop here, and save my mini-"discussion" below for another post.  It doesn't contribute to my topic sentence / thesis statement / title / or whatever you want to call it.  But, no one is paying me to write correctly, and no one is grading this, so today, I'm writing incorrectly.  Now that I have that out of the way:

A nurse who works with kids, who we'll assume understands the germ theory, thinks it's no big deal for her to catch a cold.  Does she get it that she can then give it to the kids she is working with in her clinicals?  Not comforting.  I bet their parents don't feel as laissez faire about it.  I guess she hasn't heard the one where the kid gets a cold, gets a sinus infection, takes an antibiotic, gets C-diff, spends the next month and a half on a strong antibiotic to get rid of THAT infection, fighting digestive distress and diaper rash the whole time.  Clearly not dying of cancer, but not a fun day either way.....

I guess she never gave birth to a child while she had a cold.  I didn't think it was fun.  I'm hoping not to do that again.  I had to be on oxygen the whole second half of my labor / delivery when S went into respiratory distress, I'm still convinced that part of it was because I wasn't getting any oxygen because of my horrible "just a cold."  Not to mention cold meds aren't exactly recommended for a solid foundation of you and your newborn's nursing relationship.

I should have asked what nursing program she was enrolled in and if they have completed the part about "how germs work" or co-morbid disease issues.  Pregnant moms of toddlers don't want to be told any illness is "just a fill-in-the-blank"--especially the ones who have a little experience with those ailments.

...And apparently during her OB rotation they taught her that back fat rolls indicate pregnancy "from behind."