Studio Portrait Session, Take I

We attempted to get Spencer's picture taken old school--in a studio with ugly props that have no meaning to us, etc. It went very poorly. We arrived for our 9 o'clock appointment at 9 o'clock, only to "sit" and wait for at least fifteen minutes while they got things pulled together. Fifteen minutes is a big deal with a toddler. And since when do you make an appointment to sit and wait? If they'd been running behind, I would have understood, but we were the first appointment of the day, and it appeared they'd just rolled in to open up at 9, not concerned about the toddler whose blood sugar and sleeping schedules LARGELY affect his mood. All of my customer-service alarms went off, but I decided to smile, be kind, and go with it. We were here, and he was dressed, and we were doing this!

Spencer did not care for the photographer, nor did he care for her to look at him or talk to him or be around him in any way. This made for an interesting photo shoot. He screamed, ran out of the room over and over, threw fits on the ground, and was just generally unhappy. I kept thinking, "Yeah, this is why we never do this." But, they were having a "special" that included a ton of prints (of one pose) for $10, and the guilt set in that we'd never done the "traditional" pictures of him--although his life has been nothing short of meticulously documented with higher quality cameras than any of those studio people use.

Between grabbing him from other non-studio rooms, bribing him with bouncy balls, and hoping the photographer lady would back off and let me handle it (since she obviously didn't make "the list") she did take a lot of pictures. She did this while she attempted to ask her assistant random questions about backgrounds and if it was time to switch, etc. without me noticing. Even with a screaming toddler, I'm not deaf. Her assistant was obviously annoyed by her behavior, because at one point she said, "I don't know. It's YOUR shoot." My, we were just one big, happy family.

We (and I do mean "we") managed to get a shot or two where he wasn't screaming or lying on the floor. Of course, in my not-so-humble opinion, the background was ugly and blended in with his hair and clothes as opposed to contrasting with him in order to highlight him in all his glory, but we did it! So no one can accuse me of not subjecting my kid to the traditional torture all middle-class American children are typically subjected to in the picture-taking arena. At least now we have gifts for the grandparents, great grandparents, and great great grandparent.

P.S.--We also have LOTS of wallets, so let me know if you need a little eye-candy to slide in next to your credit cards. I refuse to have piles of wallets sitting around our house indefinitely. Maybe they could be his business cards. Now, just to find him a business.

P.S.S.--It just dawned on me that it may be against the law for me to post this picture. Hmm. I can't decide if giving them "credit" could really qualify as that after the none too complimentary review above. I guess to keep everything on the up and up I need to say that this picture is courtesy of Portrait Innovations. Call for an appointment today, but don't expect to start at that time.