11/11/10

The Post in Which I'm a Big Whiney Baby

I'm a sprinter, but life is a marathon.  And when I say,  "I'm a sprinter," I'm speaking figuratively, of course.  Those of you who know me can vouch for the fact that I don't run sprints or marathons--ever.  Not in the past, certainly not in the present, and not in the future.  I do hope someday to run a few miles in a row again.  I have done that a handful of times and apart from the pain and agony associated with allergies keeping me from breathing, I kind of liked it.  I do occasionally sprint after Spencer, but that's another blog post.

The last few years of pregnancy and child-rearing have been great.  I love it.  Ok, I hate pregnancy; but it's one of the main ways to "get" a baby.  But I do love taking care of Spencer.  Lately, however, I've been so tired.  Not tired like I need a nap.  Not even tired like I need a few hours to myself.  I'm tired like I can't imagine what it would take to make the tired go away.  It's probably intensified by the fact that I don't feel good today.  Spencer doesn't feel good.  Jonathan didn't feel good last week, and will probably catch what we have and start not feeling good again.  It's the circle of life.  But even when I "feel" great, I'm tired.

I know this sounds like I'm complaining.  And I really don't want to have a blog on which I complain. I prefer to think of it as "sharing."  I also know that millions of people DO infinitely more in their day,  every single day, without all the help and breaks that I get.  I don't even know what to think about that.  My best hypothesis is that the energy that it takes for me to just BE exceeds the energy that it takes for others to be.  And, in that way, I start out with a deficit when it comes to the energy required for DOING.

So, I need to find some new ways to conserve my own energy.  However, everything I need to do on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis seems to require a no holds barred approach.  I already feel like I should be learning more, knowing more, memorizing more, singing more, praying more, running more (with Spencer), cooking more, cleaning more, smiling more, listening more, saving more, etc.  So, I'm not sure where I can afford to cut back.  Thankfully, the holidays are usually a time to rest up for our family.  And I'm hoping we continue that tradition this year.

It feels as if I've been sprinting since December 4th, 2008.  I don't think you're supposed to sprint for twenty three months  (or 16,560 hours), and now I'm finding out why.  Feel free to tell me how you "pace yourself."  Although, I tend to think it's more of a personality difference (aka: flaw) for me than a lack of helpful tips.  And I know that can be changed and remedied as well.  I just need to add "change the way I approach everything in life" to my to-do list for this week.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, girl. And the worst part is that there is no end in sight. Not helpful, I know - I'm just going to pile on here. The only thing that makes sense to me is that it must feel like a break when they start school. I know it'll still be hard, but it'll be hard in a different way, and that's gotta be good, right? Because if it still felt hard in the same way, all mothers would run away from their families before their kids were seven. The only thing I know is that broads a lot less tough than we are have done it before and recommended it to others, so it's gotta get better. Oh, and it might help if you changed the way you approached everything in life. :)

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  2. Ok, I'll be honest...I'm not *really* sure how I made it to your blog several months back but I did and I am glad! I love how you write and you usually leave me smiling. I have a son who I think will someday be similar to your Spencer. Anyway, I wanted to encourage you! I don't really have anything significant to say but I am praying for you. Blessings.

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  3. I think that you might just think that it comes easy for everyone else, because of the happy easy going face that we women tend to put on. I think if you watched very many moms closely you would see that we are are struggling. Or maybe I'm wrong and you really do have something else going on that's making you more tired. I require so much sleep (like 8++hours). I'm jealous of moms who can stay up late and get up early fixing breakfast for everyone etc. I've learned that you have to prioritize and you can't do itall. What's most important? A hot meal, a clean house, or a happy kid? you can't do it all. Laundry yells at me and so do the kids. Those 2 things almost always get done around my house, but everything else...uh, not so much. bathrooms get cleaned before someone comes over, same with floors. It takes just as long to clean a really really dirty floor or bathroom, as it does to clean a semi dirty one. Also...I do my not fun stuff really fast...as if it's my workout for the day. I run around the house vacuuming, unload the dishwasher as fast as I can, etc. Anyway, this is way too long, but wanted you to be encouraged that most of us don't have it near as together as we might appear. love ya!

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